Starbucks Union

IWW Starbucks Workers Union

How to get fired

Submitted by Criss on Wed, 10/19/2005 - 7:37pm.

Greetings,

I was just hired by Starbucks in California as a barista. My intent is to make $1300 and then get fired "through no fault of my own" so I can reopen an Unemployment (EDD) claim.

Yes, I am serious. I would actually make more money NOT working because my last job contributed so much to my "Base period". I could draw $450/week for 6 months.

Please don't flame me... I'm really not a despicable person. My question is: Any ideas how I can get fired "through no fault of my own"? I can't do anything illegal or gross misconduct. Simply not showing up for work would be considered "self- termination".

I thought I might find some ideas on other web pages, but the stuff out there is mostly just humor. (or else too radical)

Sincerely,

Lazy Criss

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haydeegomez Says:
Fri, 10/21/2005 - 10:17pm

Panic attacks interfering with your ability to meet productivity standards. Depression that interferes with your ability to meet customer needs. Social anxiety that causes you not to interact with the customers. Perhaps it takes you too long to complete tasks, like it takes forever to count your till.

DontFormAUnion Says:
Fri, 10/28/2005 - 4:59pm

That is pretty lame you fucking loser. Oh I don't want to work, but make money anyways. Pathetic waste of life.

Hmmm... Says:
Wed, 11/02/2005 - 4:26pm

Yes Criss, you are living a most pathetic, sad little existence. I'm surprised you haven't separated from yourself yet as it must be quiet difficult living a life with you. Try not to throw up when you look at yourself in the mirror, you'd be a senseless waste of cleaning products.

litexxcarameloh... Says:
Wed, 11/02/2005 - 11:38pm

Criss wrote:
Please don't flame me... I'm really not a despicable person. My question is: Any ideas how I can get fired "through no fault of my own"? I can't do anything illegal or gross misconduct. Simply not showing up for work would be considered "self- termination".

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Sincerely,

Lazy Criss

Correction, you really are a despicable person. At least you are honest enough to call yourself lazy. Get your butt out of bed and go to work.

Cadence Says:
Sun, 11/06/2005 - 2:09pm

haydeegomez wrote:
Panic attacks interfering with your ability to meet productivity standards. Depression that interferes with your ability to meet customer needs. Social anxiety that causes you not to interact with the customers. Perhaps it takes you too long to complete tasks, like it takes forever to count your till.

I concur with these suggestions. I was actually pulled aside and given friendly coaching on my inability to interact well with customers while working. I came from a resturant kitchen before, so I didn't have to. I needed to get adjusted to the idea of talking to people because it's a very important skill all partners have to have and be willing to use.

As for all of you who think you're so much better than Criss because you don't agree with his idea, here's a wakeup call. He's opening an unemployment case...meaning he's going to draw unemployment for a job he had prior to working at Starbucks. If you used your brains, you might realize that this dollar amount is a lot more than what he would earn working at Starbucks. Also, when you draw unemployment you're drawing on money YOU EARNED. There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of money you earned and not working. Anyone who has ever taken a paid vacation is just as guilty as Criss. I say go for it. It's not like he said he's drawing on welfare, which is 100% different. Unemployment is something you earn. I guess some of the more low brow subscribers to this forum are either jealous or hypocites...or both.

litexxcarameloh... Says:
Sun, 11/06/2005 - 10:31pm

This is a discussion about unemployment insurance. You obviously have a superior brain because in another posting, you all but say that you are a shift. Your superior brain tells my little pea brain that using your logic, I should throw myself under a car or bus so that I can collect on my health insurance or maybe even life insurance. After all, I paid for it.

I still say, get off your lazy butt and go to work.

fraplitexxcaramelwithwithwhipohplease

DontFormAUnion Says:
Sat, 12/03/2005 - 4:30am

No, it is pathetic and lazy to take advantage of the system. Unemployment is for people who were ACTUALLY laid off, not people who just don't feel like working. Stop siding with lazy fuckholes you stupid whore.

lee Says:
Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:03am

Not good, want to sit idle but still looking to earn money anyhow!check credit card payments and try to refinance to reallocate your budget.

niroshan Says:
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 2:22pm

Thank you for share

Jewelry

bjuice123 Says:
Thu, 08/20/2009 - 11:50am

Find a rich patron for your talent. Bear in mind a stainless steel De Lorean DMC-12 will cost less than a platinum Porche Roadster and if one gives it a good rub, it is hard to distinguish one from the other. Skeptical? Take a look at Mont Blanc's 'precious resin' Can anyone tell it apart from Sailor's 'shiny plastic'?
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